Dexter Rules

Huge "O" to Victor Wildcat for submitting this piece. Enjoy!

"Dexter" has long been touted as Tha O Show's favorite TV show and for damn good reason. Season 4 has easily been the most insane season yet and with this week's episode, "Dexter" has me so hooked and is so good I honestly find it impossible to watch another TV show from start to finish.

The acting is excellent, the casting is excellent, the music is phenomenal and the writing is astounding; it's a mystery why I'm the first one writing up a "Dexter" article and why it's been so long.

But before I start, if you don't know your shit about "Dexter" I most definitely suggest running the series from jump so you don't miss anything.

From the start of this week's episode where Arthur fucks up Jonah's trophies and Jonah in return fucks up Arthur's car to the gigantic mindfuck at the end -which I'll get into later - "Dexter" grabs you by the balls and makes you sit, turn off your Blackberry for 50 minutes and immerse yourself in the most uncomfortable episode I can remember.

I could probably spend hours delving into every little sideplot and tiny event that made this episode, but I'll try to stick to the few main happenings and leave out the creepy LaGuertta/Batista "I love you" scene (I don't know if anyone else gets the heebie jeebies from these two as a couple, but personally it makes me uncomfortable).

This week, we get the first real look at Arthur Mitchell's true colors as a father. From him breaking Jonah's trophies and his finger to his dinner table outburst, we see that this dude really has some serious issues and that his family knows it and they aren't about testing him. You get a sense of "wow this family would do anything to have someone save them from this psycho" and out of nowhere Jonah steps up and I legit O'ed when he got in Arthur's face and started fucking up his plaques and O'ed even bigger when he smashed the urn.

But where "Dexter" really shines is in the intricacy of the aftermath of all this when Dexter chokes Trinity with his belt and drags him into the kitchen, grabs the knife and threatens to kill him but Trinity's family comes with a run-in for the save. WHAT THE FUCK? Everything I've learned from watching any other show or movie says Dexter kills him there and the family is grateful and just keeps it quiet, but instead "Kyle Butler" has to powder and hope that this family doesn't call the cops.

Meanwhile, while this O-heavy Thanksgiving Dinner highspot is going on at the Mitchell house there's some crazy shit gwanin' at Dexter's house. Deb's catching up to Dex in the Trinity case, Rita's being a cuntbag, the neighbor Elliot's trying to get him some Rita-love and Cody falls through the roof of Dexter's shed just to make Dexter's life that much more stressful. Can sociopaths get stressed? If they can, I'd expect Dex to be sporting a silver hairdo by a year into this marriage.

After this episode, if you were on the fence about Rita like I was, you most likely hopped over to the "I hate Rita" side or if you were already there, like Donnie and Tid, you've probably gone even further that way and joined the "Rita needs to die" club. And while I can't blame Elliot for wanting some Rit-ass (she is no doubt the finest girl on the show), you don't try to run another man's baby mama...especially if the dude is a serial killer.

Now if this isn't enough for your brain to handle, let's revisit the conversation between Quinn's reporter girlfriend, Christine and Deb where Christine talks to Deb about Deb watching a loved one take his last breath in front of her.

Strange that she knew Deb and Lundy were facing each other during the shooting, did Quinn let something slip or did she find out some other way or is she perhaps the Masuka-height shooter? Personally I'm still under the belief it was Anton, but with Dexter you never know what's gonna happen until it happens. Case in point: Quinn leaves Christine's apartment, immediately after he does there's a knock at the door.

I KNEW it was Trinity, what I didn't expect was Christine to say, "Hi Dad." WHAT THE FUCK? Anyone who says they saw that coming is a liar. Every season "Dexter" has 3 or 4 episodes that end with some crazy shit like Season 3 when Miguel calls The Skinner to take care of Dex and at the end of the episode, Dex gets attacked from behind and thrown in a trunk, or in Season 2 when Dexter's garbage bags of bodies are found.

You never know when they're gonna bust one out but when they do it makes Monday through Saturday a living hell. So "Dexter" fans, comment with feedback or your theories or your "i so seen that coming it wuz so ovius a munky cood have noed that", hopefully it'll make the wait 'til next Sunday a little more bearable.

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